Van Halen III (Music Monday)
The issue wasn't Dave, it wasn't Sammy, it wasn't Mike, it was Eddie.
Remember when Van Halen and David Lee Roth “reunited” at the VMAs? Dave was SO ANNOYING that Eddie looked done with him before they even left the stage.
Well, depending on which version of the story is accurate, either it was never a reunion and Dave knew that (then why do this VMAs appearance everyone?), the new singer was already Mitch Malloy, or the new singer was already Gary Cherone.
Here’s my take on all the Van Halen drama. Either Dave is annoying, and so is Sammy, and Dave was again, and Sammy was again, and so was Michael Anthony, and maybe even Mitch Malloy is annoying, and who knows maybe even Gary Cherone is annoying - OR, hear me out, Eddie was the problem.
Regardless, we got Van Halen III.
Van Halen III has an awful album cover.
The album starts with some promise. Neworld (no typo there) is an instrumental that would have sounded perfectly in place on Van Halen II. Hey, 1984 started with an instrumental, so maybe this is a good sign.
Then comes Without You, a decent 4 minute song. The issue is, Eddie (self-producing) handed in a version that’s six minutes and thirty seconds!!!!! By the end of the song you can’t take it any more.
The video didn’t help. Gary looks…..weird. Dave was Dave, and Sammy was your basic rock singer….and Gary’s body motions are frantic, frenetic. Eddie is wearing a jester hat. None of this works.
SOMEONE has Gary singing in a screech on this album. When the album first came out, the vibe was that “oh, he sounds like Sammy” or “they want someone who can sing the Sammy songs.” As the decades have gone by, all I hear is the guy screeching.
BUT HERE’S THE THING - CHERONE CAN SING ROCK IF YOU LET HIM SING IN HIS RANGE.
Last year, Extreme put out on album called Six. It’s FANTASTIC. If you like Van Halen (real Van Halen) give it a listen. Here….
You want something a little more poppy for you Van Hagar fans? This one will finish What You Started. (And it’s called Beautiful Girls, the title of a DLR era song.)
Seriously, play Beautiful Girls. If they would have let Gary sing in THAT range, the whole “he sounds like Sammy” thing would have worked.
Well, we’re one song in and, I dunno how to tell you this…..Without You is the best song on the album. It’s all downhill from here. I’ll spare you most of it, and focus on the OK since there isn’t any good.
Dirty Water Dog isn’t bad….but it’s 5:27 and sounds under-produced.
Fire in the Hole is the other Van Hagarry song. This might have fit on Balance, and if I didn’t tell you Sammy had quit, I might be able to sneak this one past you.
One of my great theories of Van Halen is that ANYONE would have sounded good-enough (no pun) with Eddie playing next to them. You could have ME sing Panama and it would be pretty cool.
Hey Mitch, sing Panama.
Not bad at all!!!
Here’s Gary singing lead on Panama, and you know what, sounds pretty good. Kudos to the guy for singing all the eras. BUT HE LOOKS WEIRD.
One thing the Panama video proves is that Gary can sing. I don’t at all think he’s the issue with the album. I think the problem is Ed.
But Good News - some fans have “reimagined’ the album. The Van Halen News Desk has a lengthy article on that, so no need for me to rehash it. They even handed in a four and a half minute version of Without You. You know, it’s a nice little song. Now was that hard Eddie?
If you want to know even more about Van Halen III, I linked to the podcast about the reimagined album in last week’s WILT Wednesday (below)