The Royal Jam War and the Mount Rushmore Of Comedy
Meghan vs The King, Dave Attell's Mount Rushmore of Comedy, and rebooting a political podcast to be more like The Daily Show
When I started this substack I decided there wouldn’t be rules. Is it about the podcast industry? Sure. Comedy? Sure. TV shows? Sure. Self promotion, um yessss! If it is “media” then it counts.
This week, I can’t stop laughing about the Royal Jam War. But since I don’t want to turn Media Thoughts into a Royal Gossip newsletter, I will put that last in today’s dispatch, but I do have to put my clever illustration here to feed the Social Media Preview with it.
Let’s begin with Dave Attell’s Mount Rushmore of Comedy. This is what AI thinks Dave Attell looks like. You now understand why I didn’t want this to be the age pulled for social.
I saw this on Cracked while prepping the Daily Comedy News Podcast. It’s unclear to me (maybe I am bad at reading) if Attell said this recently or a while ago, but anyway he listed his Mount Rushmore of Comedy.
Normally the “Mount Rushmore of…” has FOUR. Dave listed ten. His list, with my comments….
1 Dave Chappelle - Dave is great. What I don’t understand about Dave is why he wants his obit to read like this:
Renowned comedian Dave Chappelle, best known for his groundbreaking show 'Chappelle's Show,' has passed away at the age of XX. Throughout his career, Chappelle captivated audiences with his sharp wit and incisive humor. While he courted controversy at times, particularly in his interactions with the transgender community, his impact on comedy and popular culture remains undeniable."
Dave, it’s been four straight specials on the same subject. Mix it up.
2 Bill Burr - sure. Who doesn’t like Burr. If we get ten faces on the mountain, I guess we can find room, I’d have to think about it. But if we get four, no way.
3 Mitch Hedberg - I LOVE Mitch. I got to work with his wife Lynn Shawcroft on a few projects after Mitch passed away (a story for another day). But how can we put Mitch up there and not Steven Wright?
4 Richard Jeni - GREAT forgotten comedian. But again, we only get four.
5 Sam Kinison - another GREAT. Unique voice. Shooting star. Would have been interesting to see what 21se Century Sam did.
6 Bill Hicks - Denis Leary says thanks for the act.
7 Greg Giraldo - Mount Rushmore???
8 Patrice O’Neal - met Patrice a few times. Did not enjoy his company at all. Comedians love him.
9 Gilbert Gottfried - underrated for most of his career, until he died. He’d probably find that funny.
10 Bob Saget - another comedian (who I met and he was cool) who seems to have been bounced up in the ratings post death. Not sure he’s Mount Rushmore.
As I embed the podcast there, it reminds me - we are going to hear a LOT from Jerry Seinfeld this week. Jerry’s Pop Tarts movie is coming out. You will be sick of Jerry by next weekend.
OK Johnny Mac, who is on YOUR Comedy Mount Rushmore?
I will ask you back - define comedy. I assume we are speaking about some sort of modern-ish, stand-up and not Shakespeare. Then it’s a question of how modern do we want to get. And since Mount Rushmore is in America I assume we’re talking modern-ish American stand-ups.
The first two are easy. George Carlin, Richard Pryor. Generally accepted as the greats by everyone except Dave Attell.
I riffed an answer on the podcast and said Carlin, Pryor, Bob Hope, Johnny Carson.
Then I realized I didn’t include any women, so I kicked Johnny off and added in Lucille Ball.
Let’s take it modern and take Hope down as well. (Hope is AWESOME. DO NOT JUDGE BOB HOPE ONLY BY HIS WORK POST 1980)
Four is very tough.
As I write this, I am remembering the two best comedians I have ever seen live are Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock. And the late Ralphie May maybe third. Oh, and Attell live is pretty great. See, this is hard.
All time sitcom aside, Jerry Seinfeld is a very very very very good stand-up, and I first saw him when he was a frequent guest on 80’s Letterman. Some might put Jerry on a Mount Rushmore.
Chris Rock is one of the greats. But I can trace his style back to Pryor. (And Eddie Murphy is doing a complete Richard Pryor Cover Act even though people my age, myself included, have him as an all time favorite, hich is not bad for a guy who really hasn’t done standup in 40 years now.) So sorry Chris, I can’t give you a spot on the mountain, but you can have a plaque at the Hall of Fame.
Carlin, Pryor, Seinfeld….and one more?
People are into Carol Burnett again. Wanna put her up there? Should we keep Lucy? Joan Rivers? Minnie Pearl?
I dunno. Thats why we have comments. Go for it.
Back in October, I was on The Podnews Weekly Review (joined by Caloroga Shark Media co-founder Mark Francis, and Sam Sethi asked us about the slate. I said something like, I will be the honest person in the industry and some shows will work and some won’t.
One NOT working is Ballot. So I made some tweaks.
I think there’s a sweet spot of what I call “Politics minus Politics” and/or Politics meets pop-culture. For example, today talks about Biden misspeaking about the “June 6th” Capitol Riots.
Whatever your political leaning, there’s some comedy to be mined there.
For example (monologue style):
Will he start referring to the Moon landing as the "great space race of 1492"? Or maybe he'll give a speech about the time Abraham Lincoln defeated the aliens at Gettysburg.
This week, I thought to myself “Ex-president, trial, porn star” - thats good fodder for content. So I pivoted Ballot from mostly weekly, to shorter and daily. Think of the first ten minutes of the Daily Show. In and out, move on. I will let you know if it works.
Now, on to the Main Event!
Let me catch you up on the Royal Jam War.
On Wednesday, the Buckingham Palace Shop Instagram page received comments suggesting it had thrown "epic shade" at Meghan, after it uploaded an 18-second video showcasing four ways in which consumers could use their "strawberry preserve."
The Palace posted: "Our Strawberry Preserve is made using only the finest berries and is delicious served in a variety of ways "Some of our favourite ways are shown here: On a scone as part of a cream tea. On a crumpet. With a croissant. On toast. How do you enjoy your strawberry preserve? Let us know in the comments!"
Meanwhile, Meghan has been promoting HER jam by sending out her exclusive strawberry jam to 50 influential food enthusiasts. The internet is abuzz with speculation about who received the coveted Jar #1 and who barely made the cut with Jar #50. So far, recipients seem hesitant to share their jar numbers, especially those who ranked past 21.
The lucky recipient of Jar #1 has also chosen to remain silent - my guess is it is Kate Middleton, Her Wonderfulness, who would not want to draw attention to herself. Some wonder if Meghan and Harry decided to keep that particular jar for posterity, or maybe to sell on eBay in a year if they need more money.
Can we talk about the money for a second? Putting aside that grandma was QUEEN ELIZABETH and dad is the King, Harry got £13 million in Diana money, with the Sun reporting that investors had turned that into £20 before Harry got his hands on it. Now, add in the $25,000,000 from Spotify (oops) - surely this could needn’t Jam Money.
I digress.
As the battle of the jams escalated, Chrissy Teigen prepared a delicious treat using Markle's fruit spread, captioning the post, "We jammin!!" The "Cravings" cookbook author combined rustic bread, salted butter, triple cream Brie, bacon, and Markle's exclusive preserves to create a sweet and savory sandwich. "This might have been one of the best bites we've had all year,"
Teigen and Markle, both former "Deal or No Deal" briefcase models, have been supportive of each other over the years. However, Teigen recently admitted that she and Legend have yet to go on a double date with the TV Cooking Show Host and the Spare.
Should we involve the Kardashians in all this? Sure, why not.
Kris Jenner revealed Meghan gifted the Kardashians star one of her exclusive strawberry jam jars, as shared on Jenner's Instagram Story this week.
Jenner - # 13 - showed off a hamper which included a beautiful set of homegrown lemons, adding a fresh and vibrant touch to the package. I may have used AI on that sentence.
Vulture wrote:
If your Insta algorithm knows you like royals drama, cute jams, and the Strawberry Girl aesthetic, you would think your Explore page would be wall-to-wall American Riviera Orchard. You’d be wrong. Because that same day, the British Palace declared war on America … in jarred form. The official Instagram page for the Buckingham Palace gift shop posted a reel of their own on April 24, advertising their own jars of Windsor Castle strawberry preserve.
The timing could not be more pointed. Prior to Wednesday, the page had not made a jam-centric post since February 2023, and even that one saw their strawberry preserve sharing the stage with her sisters, Scottish heather honey and fine-cut marmalade.
Anyway, this makes for wonderful content on the Palace Intrigue podcast. I mean, I didn’t even mention Rebel Wilson and the Royal Orgy! KateGate gave us a solid month, but The Royal Jam War is a nice unexpected gift before the Royal Press starts talking about whether or not Charles will show up at Trooping The Colour. We’re already seeing some light “Charles is sicker than believed” articles creeping in.
Speaking of Palace Intrigue, we’re all in on Apple Podcasts Subscriptions, the kind where you pay $5 and get episodes ad-free and Bonus Content. Starting on Sunday, our Royal Insider DEEP CROWN (oooh mysterious) hosts a bonus Insider episode on the paid Palace Intrigue feed. He must be important, he even got his own logo.
John you missed a typo AGAIN.
I always miss a typo. I proof-read this three times today. If I ha noticed the typo I would have fixed it.
I’ve decided the typo is a Feature Not A Bug. In each newsletter, your job is to spot the typo, and if you do, you get awarded 5 points. Whoever has the most points at the end of the year “wins.”
I’m supposed to encourage you to restack this on the substack app because Algorithm Something Something, so please restack this.